I need to take a moment to pour out my heart...

What to say...? What can I say...? I've been feeling so totally lonely and like an outcast lately. Maybe I'm still searching for what the Lord wants me to do... I just don't feel like I fit in anywhere. Everyone I know seems like they have their own little "click" and it feels like there is no room for me to fit in with them. Matt says he feels the same way a lot. He'll call people and they will never return phone calls, etc. I know people are busy...I'm busy too, but I'd still like to meet some new friends and have people I can talk to. Sometimes it just feels like I don't have anyone...except God of course. I always have Him to talk to, but it would still be nice to have someone I can see face to face to socialize with. Plus, I want Malachi to meet people and socialize with people but every time I suggest doing things with the other people and their kids they never get back to me or don't seem very excited about doing anything. It's just frustrating...

At least I can talk about this on here right? Not like anyone probably even checks this...
I'm not a people person. I try hard to talk to people and get to know people, but no one ever seems like they really try to get to know me. (Okay, maybe there is a couple people I can think of off the top of my head that do try...but they are always so busy or either living to far away to really do anything with most of the time.)

Well, there I did it...I poured out my heart for tonight.

Father's Love Letter

MY CHILD...

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1. I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2. I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3. Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31. For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27. In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28. For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28. I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5. I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12. You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16. I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14. I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13. And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6. I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44. I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16. And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1. Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1. I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11. For I am the perfect Father. Matthew 5:48. Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17. For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11. Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3. My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18. And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17. I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40. For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5. I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41. And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3. If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29. Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4. For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13. I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20. For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18. As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11. One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4. And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4. I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23. For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26. He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3. He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31. And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10. I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32. If you receive the gift of my son, Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23. And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39. Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7. I have always been Father and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15. My question is...will you be my child? John 1:12-13. I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32.

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

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Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Christmas went pretty well for us. Malachi preferred to throw his presents around the room instead of opening them though. lol

We spent most of the day over at Mom and Dad's. Well, at least Malachi and I did...Matt and Daniel (my brother) let a littler earlier because Matt had to go into work and had worked the night before too.

A little bit more of an update...

Matt started working his 12 hour shifts last night. He will probably be doing those for awhile because of the new location he is getting moved too.

Malachi is being a rascal and always getting into things. He likes to take things apart or knock things over. :) joy joy hehe

Maggie (our dog), has a bump on her that I found a few weeks ago. I just hope it isn't cancer. It's a pretty good size bump but doesn't look like it's growing any bigger.

I've been doing a little better with stress.

Update on our family...

Matt is doing good at work. Just found out today that he is getting transfered to a closer location which will be nice.

Malachi is growing and growing... he is walking everywhere now, although he does trip and fall quite a bit, but he gets himself right back up and starts walking again. His walk is so cute and funny right now cause he holds his hands up at about chest level and waddles (at least when he is attempting to run). He is sooooo adorable! Not sure on his current weight and height because his last doctors appointment was in October and his next one isn't until February. I'll let you know then unless I do find out earlier.

Me....I'm doing pretty good. I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately, but I've been really trying to dive into the Bible and PRAY PRAY PRAY and I think it is really helping. At least I feel a little better than I did a few days ago and I know from past experiences it usually does help, but I tend to fall away from doing my Scripture reading and praying once in awhile. I'm hoping to make it a daily habit and to stick with it so that I may always feel this peace that I feel right now!
I hope the rest of you who may read this will also pray with me and for me. Thank you!

F.B.I. ......

The decision has been made, the dye has be cast, and I have stepped over the line. As a disciple of Christ, I will no longer look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished with low living, sight walking, worldly talking, cheap giving, and tamed visions. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, power, or popularity. I don't have to be right, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, walk in victory, and labor in love, The road before me is narrow and rough, but His commission is undeniable, thus my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have prayed up, praised up, paid up, and spoke up for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I am a Christian, an Unashamed Firm Believer in Christ

FIRM BELIEVER in CHRIST = F.B.I Christ

ROMANS 1:16

(not sure who to give the credit for on this...found it on a little card I have but it doesn't say who or what organization put it together.)

Baby's Words, by Frank Greg

Although I am small and cannot say a word
these thoughts of my family I wish could be heard . . .
I feel all your love and the kind things you do.
I get so excited that I smile and coo.
A soapy warm bath or the comb through my hair
all your soft whispers that tell me you care.
Then wrapped in your arms it is safe and secure
protected with tenderness that is perfect and pure.
And if ever I'm messy, hungry, or cold
with just a small whimper I'm quickly consoled.
You kiss and caress to stop me from weeping
then patiently wait 'til I'm comfortably sleeping.
You make my life joyous, full of colors and fun
when I see you each morning your face is my sun.
So, if you aren't certain your gestures are felt
look deep in my eyes and I'm sure you will melt.
They say I'll grow fast like the blink of an eye
but do not be sad at the time that goes by.
Because I'll remember all you've given and shared
to get me through life completely prepared.
I'll be the great one who stands out in the crowd
your hearts will be happy I'll make you so proud.
I thank you so much for all that you do
and never forget that I love you, too.

A Great-Grandpa To Me, by Frank Greg

This year would have been the first
that you could gladly say
how you'd become a Great-Grandpa
who's more proud everyday.
Though you've been gone
for many years,
still you're loved just the same.
Now my son will be
our legacy
because he also shares your name.
And as he grows
he'll want to know
just how you used to be.
So I'll sob then smile
all the while
that he's upon my knee.
I'll make it clear
how very dear
I hold your memory,
And hide the pain
as I explain
what a great Grandpa you were to me...

Pet Grooming!!! Do you need it?

If anyone needs any pet grooming done then stop on by Doggone Pretty Pet Grooming, Portage, Michigan. Great service and professional groomers! Also, offers self bathing so you can bring in your dog and give him/her a bath yourself. Call for pricing and appointments: 269-327-1744.